IMAGINE THAT....YOU WANNA LEARN TO TATTOO

First and foremost...HELLO EVERYBODY!!!!!! Your oh so gracious host is back after battling a bout with semi retardation and account info forgetfulness....So lately I seem to get about five phone calls a week from people who want to be an apprentice.Tattooing is not for everyone,it's not a job,a career or a hobby......it quite literally is a lifestyle. So if you are lookin to be a famous rock star buy a fuckin guitar not a tattoo machine please.I know,all the artists on t.v. look so cool and so happy,they get all the chicks or guys and they have cool friends and wild parties.......GUESS WHAT STUPID,THAT IS NOT HOW MOST OF US LIVE!!!!! I work my ass off seven days a week so I can pay my bills and strive for a better life,I get yelled at all the time about why the hell am I always at work and not home with my family where I should be..sure summertime tattoo artists are livin high on the hog but come December we are almost all contemplating robbing banks or washing windows.ba ha ha ha still sound like the life for you?????? here is the reality,if you are not inlove with tattooing,don't bother.If you are not willing for the next couple years of your life to sacrifice everything to the gods of tattooing...go away!!!! If in your heart...you know that this is what you were meant for,start by drawing your little ass off,hang out in a few tattoo shops until you find the artist that you want to become,someone who can teach you...someone you respect and someone who will treat you with respect!!!!Apprenticing can be a nightmare full of verbal abuse,seemingly senseless tasks and a whole hell of a lot of frustration...you will be hungry,broke and the lowest person in the shop......until you find yourself and assert yourself and prove that you are one of us.....THEN MY SON...THE TATTOO GODS JUST MIGHT SMILE DOWN ON YOU...or you'll just get strung out and end up tattooing for dope until you kill yourself!!!!! ha ha ha ha honestly you have to give all of yourself to this and even then it might not be enough.So remember this,before you fuck off your schooling,or quit your job at the mall. to all you future artists out there,my hat goes off to you,hang in there and enjoy every minute of it....and to all you future scratchers......I'd say I hate you but I make a lot of money covering up your garbage.....SO ROCK THE FUCK OUTTA THAT PIPE AND THAT GUITAR STRING SON,THAT SHIT LOOKS NICE!!!! BA HA HA IDIOT!!!!!!!

the living canvas

Have you ever noticed????????That there seem to be two major types of tattooed people????? First you have the "bumper sticker" people, these are the folks who know they love tattoos,really want tattoos but have no major scheme to things.....We pretty much all start out this way and pretty much all end up regretting it.We treat our bodies like a cool new car.We run into No Fear and grab the coolest So. Cal sticker stick it wherever it looks good.Which is great......FOR A FUCKIN BUMPER!!!!!!! You can peel that shit off and replace it with brass knuckles or metal mulisha or whatever else is cooler next week...Not so for our bodies,which leads me to ........drumroll please.......................TYPE TWO TATTOOED PERSON...HOORAY. THE LIVING CANVAS..... These are the people who understand the potential that they have...A blank canvas ready to be adorned with a masterpiece...WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE?????????We see em at the tattoo conventions and in the magazines but really how did they get so smart....and why didn't I think of that.. This guy has a flowing,cohesive tattoo that seems to be one big piece of beauty and I'm stuck with three different skulls,some sort of flower(that I never really wanted) and a crooked iron cross..Gee maybe I can tie it all together with some spider webs or more stupid flowers that I don't really want....... Do you see what I'm gettin at folks?????? Chances are,even THE LIVING CANVAS guy started out walking into some shop wanting whatever....and lucked out by meeting a real tattoo artist,that instead of taking his $100 and blasting some crap on him,sat him down and made him think......which is kinda what I'm doin now. How do you want to fill this canvas.Not to say there is anything wrong with a juxtopose of art covering your body,if thats what you want..but before you go running to a tattoo shop with a couple hundred bucks burning a hole in your pocket and the need for some pain because your asshole boyfriend accepted some cute girl you don't know as a friend on Facebook,that son of a bitch!!!!!!! Think about your potential as a canvas.Is there a story you want your body to tell??Some profound message you want to share with the world?Or even a style of Art that touches you,makes you smile,makes you feel complete..... YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE THAT WITH THE WORLD.how amazing is that????? LOOK INWARD,CONSULT AN ARTIST.CREATE YOUR LIVING CANVAS.there is a huge spiritual side to this tattoo thing,if you respect yourself and respect the art,the tattoo GODS will smile on you... If not I'll charge you $400 for a bad ass nautical star with a girl dancin on a pole in the center of it. bah ha ha ha jackass!!!!!!!!! and remember folks YES!!!! IT FREAKIN HURTS!!!!

a fine time for ink

As winter is quickly aproaching a strange trend seems to come about.Tattoo shops everywhere sloooooooow way the hell down.I get that christmas is coming and money is tight but honestly this time of year is ideal for getting tattooed."Why,you ask". well sit down,shut up and I'll tell you why. Reason number one......In the cooler weather,people tend to cover up more which gives tattoos a better chance to heal,away from that summer sun that is not a friend to tattoos... number two.......Chances are,your tattoo artist has blown all his or her summer money and is wondering how the hell they are gonna buy gifts for all their illegitimate children.An amazing time to get great work at a great price.Tattoo artists treat people who save their asses really well. number three........I fuckin said so....ha ha ha seriously though.Tis the season to beautify your skin,so next summer when you're all but naked.You, my friend,will have a head start on everyone else.NICE,BRIGHT ,BEAUTIFUL TATTOOS not sunburnt ,faded,scabby ink.So do yourself a favor a get a tattoo,because DAMN IT you deserve it.And don't forget to ask your favorite tattoo shop about gift certificates for christmas.SANTA LOVES TATTOOS!!!!!!!! Jesus doesn't but who cares,with you're new ink you'll be way cooler than Jesus...thanx again